Many people aren’t aware of what their ultimate relationship would look like or even that they are able to create it. This is just a compilation of thoughts, ideas and beliefs around how an Ultimate Relationship would look and function…
Archive for January, 2010
Why is The Ultimate Relationship So Hard To Create
Posted By Rach on January 29th, 2010
Firstly, what IS an “ultimate relationship”? This may seem idealistic and unrealistic for some but this is my version and you are more than welcome to tweak it to suit.
The ultimate relationship is one where both people feel completely loved, secure, supported and valued. They operate as a team, overcoming obstacles and life changes together. They continue to grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple, deepening their love and connection with each other creating a love that spans decades and decades. They are happy in each others company and continue to want to be together until death do them part.
Sound too good to be true?
Well it’s not and it’s not that difficult to create but then I worked it out the hard way just like so many people I know. The only problem is that there are still heaps of singles and couples out there that still don’t know so they continue to be in and out of relationships, getting involved with the same type of person that they know is “no good” for them, or sabotaging the relationships with real potential.
Who do we learn from when it comes to creating a positive, functional, loving and passionate relationship?
…Our parents! Failing that it’s the people around us and since the divorce rate and number of dysfunctional families is still high, what chance have we got to “get it right”?
Before divorce became the thing to do, there were plenty of couples who stayed together for the sake of the children which meant either plenty of fights or long periods of silence; 2 people barely co-existing and that was to be the example their kids had for their ultimate relationship. Is it any wonder generations of families end up broken or laden with guilt, frustration and anger?
The divorce rate in Australia is currently 1 in every 3 marriages end in divorce and the median length of those marriages being 12.5 years, it’s fair to say that while it’s improved in the last 2 years, that’s still an alarming figure. And the kids coming from those relationships are also not learning how to create their own ultimate relationship!
Now that just sucks! We all deserve to be in relationships that bring out our best, that help us to succeed to higher levels because we stand on the foundation of love and support from a life partner (married or not, it doesn’t matter).
The divorce cycle rarely gets broken and while I agree that it’s better to divorce than to be in a loveless relationship that brings out the worst in people, I would rather we do something about the problem that perpetuates it.
So how do we change the trend? Break the cycle? And create relationships that make people happy?
Education… it’s so simple yet complex at the same time. It’s teaching kids before they get into a relationships, teaching young adults how to communicate and work together as a couple, and retraining older couples so that the example they set their kids will actually help them create positive, loving and passionate relationships when they’re older.
My parents divorced, my first marriage ended in divorce and now I’ve created my own ultimate relationship with a wonderful man who is my partner, my best friend and lover. Our relationship has a level of depth I can’t describe, and after 9 years, I still look forward to him coming home each day. We rarely have arguments and we work well as a team in life and love. If I could wish for one thing, it would be for everyone in this world to experience a love like this…
Until such day as schools introduce Relationship Ed, I’ll just have to use my life coaching skills and relationship expertise to help those who are either currently single or who haven’t quite created the ultimate relationship with their partner yet. Anyone can learn how to do it; anyone can create it and the effects of having it are astounding.
Check out my free audio and workbook – Creating the Ultimate Relationship: The Foundations!
What is An “Ultimate Relationship”?
Posted By Rach on January 19th, 2010
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An ultimate relationship is one where both partners not only love each other but are in love with each other. They are each other’s best friend, confidant as well as lover. Their relationship is full of passion, happiness, fun and growth both as an individual and as a couple.
Misunderstandings happen but are quickly resolved, communication is open and happens frequently. Trust and honesty are abundant and feeling secure within the relationship means knowing that your partner is there for you no matter what, that they are dependable, reliable and can be taken out to social events.
The ultimate relationship is harmonious, balanced and grounded. You work together as a team and you walk side by side into the world being both a rock for each other when you need to be, and soaring high wherever life takes you together.
Neither is more important than the other but both is number one in each others lives. At times collaboration and accommodation is needed in order for both individuals to be able to reach their personal goals but both willingly find a way to make it work.
It has a good balance of quality couple time and individual quality time, allowing for each person to get to know and explore who they are, and to bring that into the relationship.
The ultimate relationship is a two-way street, both giving and gratefully receiving in all forms; energy, time, love, affection, attention, information, communication and honesty.
The ultimate relationship is full of acceptance and understanding. People can be themselves and are both supported and encouraged to be who they are on all levels which includes sexuality and spirituality, not just personality.
As people change and evolve they are accepted and supported, as they grow and take different directions, they are accepted and supported. As they evolve sexually and spiritually they are accepted and supported.
People in an ultimate relationship feel a deep connection and bond with each other. They are aware that relationships are a living entity that is either growing and evolving or dying so they continue to build on it, feed and nurture it, as well as each other.
The ultimate relationship has both complimentary and challenging aspects. Strengths where one has weaknesses help to balance out the relationship team but also help the other person to build strengths where perhaps they wouldn’t have before. Being with someone who has different strengths that also supports and encourages you can be a fantastic combination. Getting outside ones comfort zone is the challenging aspect and when someone loves you they want you to grow and evolve to be the best you can be.
Does this describe your relationship? If so, that’s fantastic because only a small percentage of couples ever create a relationship like this. Many don’t know what the ultimate relationship looks like and hence don’t realise that it’s something they can create or have.
If you are reading this and have found that it highlights areas of your own relationship that could perhaps be improved, then please check out “Creating Your Ultimate Relationship: The Foundations”. It’s a free report with questions for you to answer that will help you pinpoint what you need to work on so that you can also create your ultimate relationship either now, or in the future when you meet that special someone.
Here’s to your relationship success!
Rach Wilson
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